My last blog post was June 2 (8 weeks ago) … and I thought I could get writing again at that time … but it didn’t work out. I didn’t know why. All I knew was that I felt blocked … And then, on July 11^th, we finally had the Celebration of Life for my sweetheart (photos here if you have Facebook). And the next morning I woke up and felt like a large burden had rolled off my shoulders … and my brain fog lifted. It was a great relief to truly let him go, even though I still miss him, of course. Now I am looking forward to my new path in life—alone, and yet with him always with me, deep inside—and beside me, too, smiling with teasing laughter in his eyes, on a large photo my son Peter and his wife Jo created for the Celebration of Life. (And, yes, I know this new path in life is what he would want for me).

So today, I will do one last “catch-up” blog post (yes, it is rather long—sorry! Grab a cuppa and sit back to read, LOL) … and then I’ll move on to my new trail in life!

On June 2, after writing that last post, I went with my aunt Kerry to a “Loss of a Spouse” seminar. (My uncle had passed away exactly a month after my sweetheart). It was okay, but we both felt we weren’t quite “ready.” As did most of the other recent widows there. They will continue the series this autumn. Will I go? Not sure yet….

I’ve been gathering ideas and materials for regular embroidery and cross-stitch—patterns; fabric; thread; joining a couple of Facebook groups for inspiration; checking out thrift stores and dollar stores for kits to practice on. I’ve also been creating some Haida-design-type cross-stitch patterns and stitching them on small Aida fabric squares; my plan is to place them in small round or oval frames, attach key chain holders to them, and give them as Christmas gifts to family members. I have wondered if it is okay for me (non-indigenous but married 45 years to a Haida/Coast Salish man, and status due to marriage before the “rules” were changed). But I think that since I am making them for our family, in remembrance of him, it should be alright…. I hope! … Oh! And thanks to Geri W. for the bag made specifically for embroidery supplies! …

I have continued to practice my French-language accent using daily FrenchPod101 emails. I am actually quite pleased with my progress, as it is becoming easier and easier! Now I’m going to get busy again improving my French reading and writing.

Many thanks to my Credit Union financial advisor Matt, and my helper Bob at Providence funeral home (and all the people from the different organizations and companies and government offices, etc.), as they have walked me step by step through the many changes and “bookwork” necessary after a death. I am preparing a detailed binder for my executor when the time comes … It is so necessary and helpful to have that information at hand (and updated regularly). I also recommend opening an account (in your bank, or with a company) for saving up for funeral expenses; it is wonderful not to have to worry about leaving a big bill for your children/beneficiaries.

I had started to write from my list of “grief prompts” series but I found I was still feeling blocked … fortunately, now I feel much freer to go ahead with them. Phew!

Activities? I’ve still been volunteering at the Summerland Museum once a week, mostly working at the computer, scanning and recording a variety of documents (obituaries, historical photos and slides, etc.)…. Still practicing piano quite regularly…. And I have started going again to a few writers’ group gatherings, most just to listen; I haven’t taken writing to share yet, but I will soon! … And I went to a friend’s book launch (“Immersed in India” by Merle Kindred: check it out! I very much enjoyed reading it all in one day!) … As usual in June, the next-door neighbour’s messy tree filled my yard and garden with sticky blossoms, pods, seeds: and as usual, I was really annoyed! But this year there was a lot of windy weather, and the annual “messy time” was cut by half, hurrah! What a lot of exercise I got every day cleaning up the mess! … I’ve been going to the Anglican church fairly regularly … And a friend, Aggie, took me on a day trip to visit her cousin in Osoyoos, and we visited another friend, Sonni Bone, on the way back (and had a fun coffee time another day with Aggie and Jane and Faye!) … And I’ve been journaling (sporadically, I have to admit) … And I’ve actually done 3 editing jobs! Yay! … And recording prayers (it has been such a great exercise as it has shown me so clearly how much I have to be grateful for!!!) … And fun going “thrifting” with cousin Geri … And drying oregano and parsley and mint (3 kinds!) from my garden (anyone want some? Let me know!) … And selling a couple of books through a local store, Dragon’s Den …

Speaking of reading, I’ve still found it a helpful way to get through this stage of life. What have I read? A magazine, “The Valley: Friends & Neighbors” (March 2026; from Arizona) featuring my friends Yasmin and Rick; continued devotional reading (including finding my grandfather’s “Apocrypha” book from the late 1800’s! ); “A Grief Observed” by C.S. Lewis; “Softening the Heart” (poetry book by Maryann Bowles); “Rodale Organic Gardening Basics: Herbs”; “1773 Days to Liberation” by Wenda McKee; “Pacific Northwest Aboriginal Art: What Am I Seeing?” (Karen Clark et al); “Totem Poles: An Illustrated Guide” (Marjorie M. Halpun); “Sganna Jaad – April White – Killer Whale Woman” (art book; edited by Judi Tyabji)

I spent a lot of time in June (and early July) preparing for the Celebration of Life—creating five albums of photos and memorabilia (cards, certificates, resumes, courses, letters, our wedding book, etc.) from my husband’s childhood, youth, and adult years for folks to browse through at the Celebration. I had also put together hundreds of digital photos, and my daughter Taryn put some of them together for a lovely slide show at the event. And I gathered other memorabilia (like school yearbooks, photos and paintings, and more) to display … A friend from back in Haida Gwaii days, who is very crafty, made a beautiful selection of crafts in memory of Lionel, some specifically for each family member, and others to share at the Celebration; they were so appreciated … And I must say that the Westminster Rental folks were so helpful in dropping off and then picking up the tables, chairs, etc. at the Celebration (oh, and the City of Penticton folks with the Pavilion rental) … And so many thanks to my family members who helped out so much with planning the Celebration and making it happen! Big hugs! … And a very, very special thank you to the Haida artists who made a beautiful traditional Haida bentwood box for my husband’s ashes (and to Sarah and Ellis for arranging it, and Alex for picking it up) …

I had found that sleeping alone in our queen-sized bed was difficult. So I moved it into the room which used to be my tutoring office, and now I have (for the first time ever) a real guest room. I found an adorable “day bed” frame, and twin mattress, and now I have a cozy little bed that fits me perfectly. And I sleep much better.

There have been a few “hard days” … firsts without my sweetheart … Father’s Day; Indigenous Day; my birthday … and some aspects of the Celebration on July 11 … and remembering again our daughter Robyn’s passing on July 12 … and looking back, Valentine’s day (the day after he passed), and Easter, and so on … But as time goes on, I am finding those kinds of days easier to take, as I focus more on happy memories and less on the loss….

In early June I started doing regular floor mat and standing exercises, and was proud of myself for doing them every day … until I didn’t … Well, I’m going to get back to them now, along with some “sitting yoga” ones. I’m still going for walks pretty regularly, other than days when it is too hot (mid to high 30s C) or too smoky from wildfire smoke that blows in (mostly from the USA … should I send their president a multi-million dollar bill for the wildfire smoke they haven’t been keeping on their side of the border? LOL … I guess I’m getting my slightly warped sense of humour back, too, eh?)

I’ve been appreciating so very, very much the phone calls, emails, and messages from family and friends! So uplifting! Also going out with friends for coffee times (well, tea for me!) and restaurant lunches, and wow! Treated to two birthday lunches (by Nancy and Yas) and a birthday coffee/bakery treat time (by Florence)! (And well over a hundred birthday wishes on July 24^th and thereabouts!). … And invitations to visit friends at their homes, like Julie & Gerry, and Gina … And getting together with a friend, Diane, from high school days (and fun checking out a house they are looking at) … And a family dinner at Peter and Jo’s … And an extended family gathering after the Celebration at Stew and Sylv’s …  And the family of one of my tutoring students, Davan Athwal, invited me to a variety of “family” events, including Davan’s school theatre production; his grad ceremony; his grad walk; and a lovely Mexican dinner. I got to meet their extended family, too. At a time when I was lonely, it was amazing to be included as part of their family. And oh my! At the grad ceremony, each grad had produced a short “thank you” list … and I was included! … Speaking of grads, two of my grandsons, Marcus and William graduated this year! Congratulations to both of you—I am so proud of you both.

My husband’s strawberry patch kept producing daily until a few days before the Celebration—and then when I made strawberry muffins (from the berries I had frozen) just a few days before the event, the strawberries stopped. Someone told me that he must have been looking down and taking care of them all that time 😊 Certainly, the strawberry bed had never before produced so many! I also made huckleberry muffins from frozen huckleberries from our Haida Gwaii trip last summer … and I thawed and dried ghow (herring roe) gifted to us from the trip, and bagged it up in snack baggies, along with baggies of dried seaweed also from the trip, and also made deer meat sandwiches (another gift from the trip) and smoked salmon sandwiches (from jarred fish also from the trip). And dried mint for tea from our garden, and hot peppers…. I never imagined, on our trip last summer, that all that wonderful gifted food from Haida Gwaii family and friends would be used for my husband’s Celebration of Life a year later. Creator surely knew what was coming….

I have always loved doing research, but during the hospital-visiting time and after my husband’s passing, I really had “brain fog” and was so tired … but recently (past couple of weeks) I’ve been having lots of fun researching a wide variety of topics.

While family was here for the Celebration, they looked through all the “give-away” items I have been gathering, and took what appealed to them. Now I have organized what was left, and took it to a local charity, who cheerfully accepted all of it (phew!).

Now I’m starting to do things on my to-do list that I’ve been putting off for a very long time … like going through my Outlook email folders and deleting hundreds of old emails … and going through my digital photo collections on my computer and deleting hundreds (or more!) “copies” that I apparently accidentally made when copying stuff from my old laptop to my new one … and searching around for a small bookcase and a cork/bulletin board (for posting up my embroidery projects, etc.) … and scrubbing out a bunch of empty Rubbermaid-type containers (now that I’ve finally gone through them and realized how much of what was in them was junk! LOL, I’m having fun downsizing/ minimalizing/ de-junking! … and setting up a sewing center in my guest room!

Thanks for your patience with my last three blog posts … and I hope my upcoming posts will be more interesting and useful to y’all!