Humorous Quotes About Writing

I’ve been collecting examples of writing and editing humour, and thought I’d post some writing jokes here to give you a chuckle! (If you have other great examples, let me know and I’ll add them to the list, too).

  • “Edit your manuscript until your fingers bleed and you have memorized every last word. Then, when you are certain you are on the verge of insanity… edit one more time!” – C.K. Webb
  • “Anyone and everyone taking a writing class knows that the secret of good writing is to cut it back, pare it down, winnow, chop, hack, prune, and trim, remove every superfluous word, compress, compress, compress.”- Nick Hornby – The Polysyllabic Spree
  • “Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.”- Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
  • “I’ve found the best way to revise your own work is to pretend that somebody else wrote it and then to rip the living sh*t out of it.”- Don Ruff
  • “Writing without revising is the literary equivalent of waltzing outside the house in your underwear.”- Patricia Fuller
  • “You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we’re doing it.” – Neil Gaiman
  • “Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.” – John Steinbeck
  • “We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.” – Ray Bradbury
  • “I’m writing about all the things I ought to do before I die. It’s my oughtobiography.”
  • “How do you irritate an editor? The list is to long too fit hear.”
  • “The streets were oddly desserted that night.” (Illustrate that sentence!)
  • “I didn’t do nuthin’!”  …. “Oooohhhh! A confession!”
  • “…without a book to publish, there’s no point, like a bar-owner trying to solicit patrons before he has any alcohol.”
  • “When asked, ‘How do you write?’ I invariably answer, ‘One word at a time.'” – Stephen King
  • “Caution: don’t prnt or publsh w/ot edtg unls UR twtng.”
  • “I try to create sympathy for my characters, then turn the monsters loose.” – Stephen King
  • “Try to get your characters into interesting trouble. Allow your characters to misbehave. Let them stay out after 11.” – Charles Baxter
  • “It begins with a character, usually, and once he stands up on his feet and begins to move, all I can do is trot along behind him with a paper and pencil trying to keep up long enough to put down what he says and does.” – William Faulkner
  • “One point of view per chapter/ Will avoid a lot of laughter/ When to the writers group/ You expose your latest prose.” ‘ Herb Moore

What other writing and editing jokes can we add to this list? Share yours! Thanks!

Want to see more writing and editing humour? Check out these posts:

Editing Humour
Punctuation Humour
Spelling Humour
Humorous Quotes about Writing

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