editing / humour / punctuation

Punctuation Humour

In the last post in this humour series, I shared some editing jokes. Today features more chuckles, with punctuation humour. (If you originated one of these and would like your name added to it, just let me know … and if you have other great examples, let me know and I’ll add them to the list, too). Thanks!

  • Let’s eat Grandma! — Let’s eat, Grandma! — (Punctuation saves lives!)
  • A woman without her man is nothing. — A woman, without her man, is nothing. –
    A woman: without her, man is nothing.
  • Private. No visitors allowed. — Private? No! Visitors allowed.
  • Some people enjoy cooking, their families, and their dogs.
    Some people enjoy cooking their families and their dogs.
  • Well done. — Well-done. — Well, done?
  • Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, and thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy – will you let me be yours? Gloria.
    • OR: Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, and thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we are apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Gloria.
  • With the Oxford comma: We invited the rhinoceri, Washington, and Lincoln.
    Without the Oxford comma: We invited the rhinoceri, Washington and Lincoln.
  • A pregnant woman went into labour and began to yell, “Couldn’t! Shouldn’t! Can’t!” She was having contractions.
  • What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
  • Private. No visitors allowed. … Private? No! Visitors allowed.

Don’t forget to share your favourite punctuation jokes!

Want to see more writing and editing humour? Check out these posts:

Editing Humour
Punctuation Humour
Spelling Humour
Humorous Quotes about Writing

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